Divorce is never an easy process. In some cases, though, a divorce might become highly contentious due to disagreements about finances, child custody issues, infidelity, substance abuse, career choices, etc. Navigating a high-conflict divorce comes with different challenges, but the strategies outlined below can help minimize the stress on you and your family as you work toward resolving disputes with your former spouse. 

Clear Communication is Key

Even if you are the injured party, do your best to communicate in a civil and respectful way, especially in writing. While you cannot control the actions of your former partner, you can be careful about how you present yourself. Establish healthy boundaries to protect your emotions, agreeing to discuss pertinent issues only and letting your ex-partner know what topics are completely off-limits. If your former spouse makes communication extremely difficult, consider working through a mediator or other third party.

Stay Organized

Keeping track of all written communication, dates, agreements, co-parenting schedules, and court documents is essential to reducing the stress in a high-conflict divorce situation. If disputes come up, especially during court proceedings, you will have documentation to support your position. 

Be Flexible

While you may be completely in the right, and it is important to advocate for your rights, remember that some compromise will likely be necessary to resolve issues. Coming to a divorce agreement that is satisfactory to both sides regarding child support, custody, and visitation; spousal support; and division of the marital estate almost always requires some negotiation, unless there is a prenuptial agreement in place.  

Focus on the Positive

During your divorce, you and your family are likely experiencing a wide range of emotions and stress levels. To the best of your ability, try to focus on the positive, recognizing that this time is just a small chapter in your life and brighter days are ahead. If children are involved, give them something to look forward to like a trip to the beach or a visit to see grandparents. Engage in some self-care as well, maybe scheduling yourself a massage or spending time with friends, relaxing and enjoying leisure activities to de-stress.

Build a Support System

Now more than ever, you need the support of friends and family and maybe even a therapist or counselor as well. You might even seek out a support group online or at a local place of worship. Don’t be afraid to ask for emotional and mental support. Having outside perspectives and encouragement can be very helpful.

Seek Guidance From Professionals

It’s never a bad idea to consult with professionals who have experience resolving high-conflict divorces. The Family Law Group at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri has been helping clients navigate complex divorce cases for decades. Our team can help you make informed decisions and resolve disputes with your former spouse either through mediation and collaborative divorce, or in court. Call us today at (408) 553-0801 to schedule a free, 30-minute consultation to go over the details of your case. Let our team work to protect your rights and your family’s future.

Disclaimer: this article does not constitute a guarantee, warranty, or prediction regarding the outcome of your legal matter.

Being a parent is not easy. But communication and co-parenting with your ex-spouse after a divorce takes it to a whole new level. The two of you once thought you would spend the rest of your lives together; however, your paths took a different course.

Now, you are expected to set aside hurt feelings and angry words so the two of you can focus on raising your children. Fortunately, no matter where you are emotionally, whether there is still a lot of contention or you and your ex-spouse are on more amicable terms, there are strategies so the two of you can communicate and focus on your children.

The Importance of Collaborative Co-Parenting

You and your ex-spouse are going through a difficult time. But amid the emotional turmoil, both of you need to prioritize the well-being of your kids. A co-parenting approach that focuses on communication, cooperation, and mutual respect helps to ensure a stable and supportive environment for your children. Having both parents remain actively involved in their lives will make it easier for your children to adjust to the new family dynamics.

Effective co-parenting also allows you and your co-parent to demonstrate essential life skills such as problem-solving and conflict resolution. Your children will learn by observing you and seeing you work together amicably, which sets a positive example for handling challenges in the future.

Part of collaborative co-parenting is ensuring that you and your ex-spouse are on the same page regarding parenting styles and disciplinary measures. Children benefit from consistency in rules, discipline, and expectations across both households, which can lead to fewer behavioral issues.

Finding a Way to Communicate

Effective communication is essential for co-parenting to work. Numerous communication tools are available, so you and your ex-spouse can choose the method that is best for your situation.

In-Person

If the two of you can talk face-to-face without anger and tension coming to the surface, then having in-person meetings may be a good choice. This allows for real-time discussion and immediate resolution of issues. Being in the same physical space also enables you to read body language and facial expressions, which can aid in understanding.

However, if both of you have busy schedules, finding a mutually convenient time and place to meet may be challenging. Also, this communication approach may not be feasible if you and the other co-parent live far apart.

Text Messaging/Email

Communicating via text message is ideal for brief updates and quick exchanges of information. Email is more suitable for detailed discussions. Both provide a written record of conversations that can be referred back to. They also allow parents time to reflect and think about what they want to say before replying at their convenience.

One major drawback to texting and email is that they can be easily misinterpreted due to a lack of tone and context. They can also become cumbersome for ongoing discussions.

Co-Parenting Apps

Several apps are available specifically designed for co-parents. Many offer comprehensive tools like shared calendars, expense tracking, and message boards to keep everything organized. These apps also provide a neutral platform for communication, which can reduce emotional tension. 

However, learning how to use all the features may take time, especially if one or both parents aren’t tech-savvy. Furthermore, some apps require a subscription to access the premium features.

Some parents may choose to use all the different methods of communication, depending on the situation. It’s also important to remember that your co-parenting relationship may change, and while you may be using a neutral platform now, it may not be necessary in the future.

Tips for Communicating with Your Co-Parent

You and your ex-spouse want to create a nurturing and stable environment for your children, even though you are no longer in a relationship. Here are some practical tips for better communication:

1. Focus on your children and keep their best interests at the forefront of any conversation.
2. Don’t use your children as messengers. Communicate directly with your co-parent. This reduces the risk of misunderstandings and keeps your kids out of adult issues.
3. Agree on the appropriate times and methods of communication.
4. Establish clear boundaries and be respectful of each other’s schedules and commitments.
5. Maintain a polite and respectful tone, even when discussing difficult issues.
6. Stay focused on the current topic and avoid bringing up past conflicts.

Remember that your ultimate goal is to ensure your children feel loved, supported, and secure.

Seek Professional Help When Needed

Finding effective communication methods can be difficult. Sometimes, communications break down, or conflicts become unmanageable. Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastric can work with you and provide valuable tools and strategies for improving communication. We are certified family law specialists with extensive expertise in handling complex cases. Our attorneys can also provide mediation services to facilitate communication between you and your co-parent.

Contact us for a free consultation by calling (408) 553-0801 to discuss how we can help you and your ex-spouse establish an effective collaborative co-parenting relationship.

Disclaimer: this article does not constitute a guarantee, warranty, or prediction regarding the outcome of your legal matter.

We enter marriage with the belief that it will last forever. Therefore, we do things to support that ideal, such as putting our spouse on the deed to our house.

But sometimes, life doesn’t go as we planned, and we realize the person we married isn’t the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. However, before initiating divorce proceedings, you will want to take some time to consider your situation and the best way forward, including removing your spouse from the deed to your house.

Can it be done? Yes. But, depending on the scenario, it could become complicated.

First Scenario: You and Your Spouse Purchased the House Together

In California, a community property state, any property acquired by either spouse during the marriage is regarded as jointly owned by both partners. During a divorce, marital assets are divided equally, regardless of whether the marriage lasted three years or thirty. Consequently, both parties possess equal ownership rights to the property.

If you and your spouse purchased the house together, you will need to buy out your spouse’s interest in the property. Once the divorce decree is signed, your spouse must sign a quitclaim deed giving up their rights to the property. If they refuse to do so, you must return to court to ask and request that the judgment be enforced.

Second Scenario: You Owned the House Before Marriage and Added Your Spouse to the Deed

Any property you acquired before the marriage is generally considered separate property, and the spouse who owned the home before marriage typically retains ownership after the divorce. But if you add your spouse to the deed, it becomes more complex. 

By adding your spouse to the deed of a home you owned outright before marriage, you have effectively changed the property’s character from separate to potentially community property. This act can be interpreted as a gift to the marital community, meaning both spouses now have an equal ownership interest in the property.

However, the specifics can vary greatly depending on circumstances:

• If there were a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement specifying that you retain ownership of the house in the event of a divorce, that agreement would likely prevail.
• If you can prove that it was not your intention to make a gift of the property to the marital community, the court might consider this evidence. However, changing a title to include a spouse’s name typically signifies an intent to gift, and proving otherwise may be difficult.

Legal Advice is Critical

Preparing for your divorce is crucial before you file, especially when it involves protecting your assets. Given the complexities involved in your situation, it’s vital that you work with an attorney who understands the nuances of California’s community property laws. Our attorneys at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri have over a decade of experience and can advise you on your rights and options for retaining ownership of your home.

Contact us for a free consultation by calling (408) 553-0801. We can help you reach a positive resolution to your case.

Disclaimer: this article does not constitute a guarantee, warranty, or prediction regarding the outcome of your legal matter.

Divorce can be difficult on all parties concerned. When children are involved, it’s especially important to consider their well-being and take steps to mitigate the effects of the divorce on them. Of course, the impact of divorce on children can vary case by case, but the following are some common responses and issues you might face as well as strategies for supporting your children through them.

Emotional Sensitivity

Change is difficult for everyone, but children in particular may experience a range of emotions in response to changes in the family dynamic. Some amount of sadness is to be expected, but anger, anxiety, guilt, and confusion are also common emotional responses. 

Changes in Behavior

Depending on the age of the children and the circumstances of the divorce, children may exhibit new behavior like withdrawing, becoming defiant, or struggling academically. Some of the behavior may be a way for them to express their emotions or ask for attention.

Parentification

One specific behavior that children in divorce sometimes develop is taking on roles or responsibilities usually associated with adults, or parentification. They might feel as if they should take care of their parents financially, emotionally, physically, or in other ways, and may act accordingly.

Financial Strain

Especially in the early stages of divorce, finances can be an issue while the parents work through splitting up assets and deciding on child support, custody, and spousal support issues. Changes in living standards and housing might be difficult for the child, and decreased finances might limit extracurricular activities, vacations, and other luxuries.

Strategies to Support Children Affected by Divorce

Understanding some of the ways divorce might affect your children is the first step toward developing strategies to support them and mitigate negative effects. The following are a few strategies to consider:

• Keep the communication lines open – Be as honest and transparent as you can and allow your children to do the same. Try to have age-appropriate conversations about what is happening, and always reassure them that they are safe and loved.

• Do your best to focus on their practical needs – Prioritize meeting your child’s basic needs (e.g., housing, clothing, access to education and healthcare) and supporting them emotionally by listening. This supportive and nurturing environment will reduce their anxiety.

• Establish and maintain routines and strive for stability – During a time of transition and change, consistency and predictability will help your child feel secure. Try to set a regular schedule for meals, bed times, homework, and activities so your child knows what to expect and when. 

• Approach co-parenting positively – Work together with your former spouse to co-parent amicably, putting the best interests of your children first. Try to keep your interactions with your co-parent civil, and never involve your child in your own conflicts with your former partner.

• Model healthy self-care – Children learn best by example. When you seek out healthy ways to get the emotional support you need, such as starting a new hobby, developing a community, practicing mindfulness techniques, or attending therapy or counseling, they will know it’s ok to seek help and support when they need it.

Don’t go Through Divorce Alone

If you are considering divorce, you need a supportive team on your side. The family law attorneys at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri (LPEP Law) can help you and your family navigate this emotional time. Call us at (408) 553-0801 to schedule a free, 30-minute consultation to discuss your case. We can help.

Disclaimer: This article does not constitute a guarantee, warranty, or prediction regarding the outcome of your legal matter.

In the age of technology, the impact of social media on almost every aspect of our lives is undeniable, and one area where its influence is increasingly significant is in family law. But how does our social media presence actually affect family law cases?

From the use of digital evidence in custody battles to the implications of online behavior on spousal support and property division, it’s becoming more and more important to understand how social media can impact your case. Join us as we explore the nuances, challenges, and consequences of social media in contemporary family law.

The Role of Social Media in Family Law Cases in California

In divorce proceedings, social media platforms often become a digital battleground where evidence is gathered and scrutinized. Courts in California increasingly consider digital footprints when making determinations related to child custody, spousal support, and property division. 

In child custody cases, California courts may consider online behavior and communications as crucial factors when determining the best interests of the child. Parents vying for custody often find their social media profiles under scrutiny, as posts, photos, and interactions can offer insights into their lifestyle, values, and ability to provide a stable environment.

The Types of Social Posts that may Impact Family Law Cases

Several types of social media posts hold particular relevance and may impact legal proceedings, including: 

• Financial status: Posts revealing extravagant purchases, luxurious vacations, or business ventures can impact spousal support and property division determinations. Such posts may contradict claims of financial hardship or show undisclosed assets.

• New relationships: Posts disclosing new romantic relationships or cohabitation arrangements before your divorce proceedings are finalized may show evidence of infidelity, which could impact child custody, alimony, and property division. 

• Substance abuse: Posts involving substance abuse, reckless behavior, or inappropriate conduct may affect issues such as child custody, visitation rights, and spousal support.

Overall, the types of social media posts that may impact family law cases encompass a wide range of content, from parenting practices and financial status to behavior and communication patterns.

How to Protect Yourself Online During a Family Law Case

You don’t need to completely erase your online presence, but protecting yourself on social media during family law proceedings is crucial to prevent potential complications that may impact the outcomes of your case. You may like to: 

• Think twice before posting: Avoid sharing sensitive information about your case, emotions, or personal life. Refrain from making disparaging remarks about your ex-spouse or engaging in online interactions.
• Adjust privacy settings: Limit the audience for your posts and ensure that only those you trust have access to your personal information. Regularly update these settings to maintain control over your online presence.
• Don’t use social media to vent: Avoid discussing your case on social media. Conversations about legal strategies, negotiations, or court proceedings should be reserved for private and confidential discussions with your attorney.
• Monitor tags and mentions: Keep a close eye on tags, mentions, and comments. Unwanted tags or comments from friends may disclose information about your activities or relationships that could impact your case.

It’s also a good idea to inform friends and family members about the importance of discretion on social media during your family law case. 

Talk to a Professional Family Law Attorney

At Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri, our family law attorneys can provide the right advice based on your specific situation. We’ll support you every step of the way and ensure your rights are protected throughout your case. 

Contact us today to schedule your free consultation. 

Disclaimer: This article does not constitute a guarantee, warranty, or prediction regarding the outcome of your legal matter.