Domestic violence (DV) and intimate partner violence (IPV) are deeply ingrained issues in our society that affect millions of people every year. On average, there are 20,000+ calls to domestic abuse helplines nationwide on a daily basis*. Adults aren’t the only victims of these assaults. 1 in 15 children is exposed to intimate partner violence annually**.
With the pandemic in full swing, and mandatory quarantines going into effect in 2020 and now 2021, experts have seen a rise in domestic abuse and IPV. In March, when the first stay-at-home orders were put into place, victims of IPV and DV were forced to stay at home with their abusers. While we’ve all been facing our own struggles these past 10 months, victims of abuse have been living in a state of perpetual fear and unsafety. Not only have they been facing the stress of potentially catching a fatal virus, but they have also been dealing with daily abuse from partners, family members, or other close relationships that they share a home with.
What is Considered Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse and IPV, while similar, are two different things. Intimate partner violence is violence at the hands of a romantic partner/ significant other. Domestic violence has a broader definition. DV can be at the hands of anyone in the household – family members, partners, friends, even children.
Domestic abuse can take many forms. It can be physical, mental, emotional, or sexual. It can include sexual assault, stalking, threats, verbal abuse, physical violence, and more.
How is the Pandemic Worsening Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse affects communities for a myriad of reasons. It commonly affects lower-income communities the most. Lower-income communities experience more everyday stressors than those who have financial security, especially during the pandemic.
Many low-income parents are essential workers. They are exposed to the virus at a higher rate due to their jobs, and being essential means that they can’t be home to care for their children who are now out of school due to Covid-19. Lack of childcare and financial instability can add tension to an already overwhelmed household.
In many cases, victims of IVP depend on their abuser for income and living arrangements. Abusers often make it difficult for their partners to hold a job or have any independent source of income. This is so they can keep their partner dependent and thus trapped in the abusive situation. It is a power play. For victims who are not allowed to have a job, and thus are stuck at home all day caring for the house and children, they are also vulnerable to more frequent attacks from a partner and violence becomes more frequent. Because they do not have their own income, they are unable to afford to leave the dangerous situation.
At home, learning is stressful for parents and children alike. Now that kids are forced to get an education from home, discrepancies in opportunities have become more visible. Many lower-income families do not have a stable internet connection and many don’t have internet at all. It’s not uncommon for lower-income families to not even own a computer for their children to use. With public libraries closed and schools closed, this creates a disadvantage for those children.
The stressors from lack of childcare and the difficulty of virtual & remote education have led to an increase in domestic child abuse.
How To Get Help
If you or a loved one is trapped in a home where domestic abuse is occurring, you need to reach out to local shelters and helplines. Setting up a safety plan during quarantine is key for escaping the dangers of your home situation. It’s hard to take steps towards leaving abusive partners because we often love them very much. But abuse is never acceptable no matter how much you love your abuser and no one ever deserves to be abused no matter what your abuser tells you.
If you live in San Jose or Santa Clara and want to take legal action, set up a free consultation with our domestic violence attorneys. We are discreet and compassionate. Our attorneys can help you set up a restraining order or can help you gain custody of your children if they are experiencing violence from someone in your household. You can contact us here to set up a consultation or to learn more about domestic abuse, read this.
Parents With Shared Custody Devoting More Time To Childcare During Pandemic
/0 Comments/in Uncategorized /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich PolicastriThe Coronavirus pandemic has upended all of our lives and made choices that were once simple, complicated. With the closing of the public school system in California, parents are facing the challenges of educating and caring for their children at home. While this shift of responsibilities has affected all parents, it makes shared custody arrangements all the more complex.
Many Parents Are Left Without Childcare
Due to the pandemic, parents with joint custody are now dedicating more time than ever towards caring for their children. For parents both working from home and still commuting to their work, there are new nuances that take time to get adjusted to. Many parents with shared custody are realizing that their custodial arrangements may need to be adjusted to accommodate changes in lifestyle related to childcare, education, or even their working situation.
While the stresses of distance learning and social distancing are apparent to children, many people are overlooking the effect that stress has had on parents. Parents with shared custody are facing even more complex decisions regarding childcare. While parents working from home may be able to supervise their children, parents who are still commuting to work are faced with few options. To make matters worse, even a simple task like hiring a babysitter is complicated due to social distance protocols, fear of exposure, and the financial burden it places on parents.
Parents With Shared Custody May Need to Adjust Their Agreements
What used to be routine agreements, such as adhering to pick up and drop off schedules, is now complicated by new childcare arrangements and social distancing protocols. Additionally, many parents are finding themselves unable to be as attentive with their children’s education as they wish or are making sacrifices with their careers. The pandemic has left many parents, especially those with shared custody, wondering how to provide the best support for their children during these stressful times.
With child custody arrangements, impactful life events may require adjusting these agreements on a case to case basis. While it may seem daunting to make changes to a child custody arrangement, it may be necessary in order to create the best living environment for your children and lessen the stress of the pandemic.
Although making changes to a shared custody arrangement may seem more stressful for children, it might make their living situations more healthful in the long run. Whether it is to allow for better supervision, more assistance with schoolwork, accommodate job changes, or even social distancing, modifying your shared custody arrangement to accommodate the pandemic might be in your children’s best interest.
How to Alter Your Shared Custody Agreement
If you are interested in modifying your shared custody agreement, then it is best to contact a family law modification attorney in order to best understand your options. While it is easy to become persuaded by family or friends, legal attorneys can provide you with straightforward advice regarding your custodial arrangement.LPEP is a family law firm in the Bay Area that specializes in complex family law litigation and modification. If you are living in the Bay Area, please don’t hesitate to contact our offices for a free 30-minutes consultation on how we can help you adapt to the stresses caused by Covid-19.
How The Pandemic Is Increasing The Rate of Domestic Abuse
/0 Comments/in Family Law, In the Community /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich PolicastriDomestic violence (DV) and intimate partner violence (IPV) are deeply ingrained issues in our society that affect millions of people every year. On average, there are 20,000+ calls to domestic abuse helplines nationwide on a daily basis*. Adults aren’t the only victims of these assaults. 1 in 15 children is exposed to intimate partner violence annually**.
With the pandemic in full swing, and mandatory quarantines going into effect in 2020 and now 2021, experts have seen a rise in domestic abuse and IPV. In March, when the first stay-at-home orders were put into place, victims of IPV and DV were forced to stay at home with their abusers. While we’ve all been facing our own struggles these past 10 months, victims of abuse have been living in a state of perpetual fear and unsafety. Not only have they been facing the stress of potentially catching a fatal virus, but they have also been dealing with daily abuse from partners, family members, or other close relationships that they share a home with.
What is Considered Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse and IPV, while similar, are two different things. Intimate partner violence is violence at the hands of a romantic partner/ significant other. Domestic violence has a broader definition. DV can be at the hands of anyone in the household – family members, partners, friends, even children.
Domestic abuse can take many forms. It can be physical, mental, emotional, or sexual. It can include sexual assault, stalking, threats, verbal abuse, physical violence, and more.
How is the Pandemic Worsening Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse affects communities for a myriad of reasons. It commonly affects lower-income communities the most. Lower-income communities experience more everyday stressors than those who have financial security, especially during the pandemic.
Many low-income parents are essential workers. They are exposed to the virus at a higher rate due to their jobs, and being essential means that they can’t be home to care for their children who are now out of school due to Covid-19. Lack of childcare and financial instability can add tension to an already overwhelmed household.
In many cases, victims of IVP depend on their abuser for income and living arrangements. Abusers often make it difficult for their partners to hold a job or have any independent source of income. This is so they can keep their partner dependent and thus trapped in the abusive situation. It is a power play. For victims who are not allowed to have a job, and thus are stuck at home all day caring for the house and children, they are also vulnerable to more frequent attacks from a partner and violence becomes more frequent. Because they do not have their own income, they are unable to afford to leave the dangerous situation.
At home, learning is stressful for parents and children alike. Now that kids are forced to get an education from home, discrepancies in opportunities have become more visible. Many lower-income families do not have a stable internet connection and many don’t have internet at all. It’s not uncommon for lower-income families to not even own a computer for their children to use. With public libraries closed and schools closed, this creates a disadvantage for those children.
The stressors from lack of childcare and the difficulty of virtual & remote education have led to an increase in domestic child abuse.
How To Get Help
If you or a loved one is trapped in a home where domestic abuse is occurring, you need to reach out to local shelters and helplines. Setting up a safety plan during quarantine is key for escaping the dangers of your home situation. It’s hard to take steps towards leaving abusive partners because we often love them very much. But abuse is never acceptable no matter how much you love your abuser and no one ever deserves to be abused no matter what your abuser tells you.
If you live in San Jose or Santa Clara and want to take legal action, set up a free consultation with our domestic violence attorneys. We are discreet and compassionate. Our attorneys can help you set up a restraining order or can help you gain custody of your children if they are experiencing violence from someone in your household. You can contact us here to set up a consultation or to learn more about domestic abuse, read this.
What’s the Difference Between An Annulment And A Divorce?
/0 Comments/in Family Law /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich PolicastriRelationships are complicated, which explains why so many people are afraid of marriage. It’s a big decision and it can be difficult if one party decides they want out of the marriage. If you did enter into a marriage, and you or your partner have realized you want out, you have options. There’s divorce, annulment, and in some cases, legal separation. But what’s the difference between an annulment and a divorce? How do you know which is right for you and your spouse?
What’s An Annulment?
Many people recognize the term annulment from silly sitcoms about last-minute Las Vegas weddings that the co-stars don’t remember the next morning. In reality, annulments are a very useful, very valid tool that serves a much more serious purpose. An annulment doesn’t just end a marriage, it completely nullifies it. If you get an annulment, it cancels a marriage out and acts as though the marriage never happened or existed. It allows for both parties to remarry post annulment. It’s a clean slate.
Not everyone can get an annulment, however. There are rules that dictate which couples are eligible. For example, if one spouse lies or withholds information from their spouse upon marriage, the other spouse can file for an annulment based on misrepresentation. Some other reasons for an annulment include:
You can get help understanding these rules and stipulations by hiring an experienced annulment attorney. It can be hard to navigate an annulment on your own, so, having an expert can be beneficial.
What’s A Divorce?
A divorce is a legal dissolution of a marriage. It goes a step further than legal separation and has stricter requirements. In California, parties must have lived in the state for at least 6 months before they can get a divorce. Couples can choose legal separation over divorce.
Like an annulment, ex-spouses can remarry after a divorce. However, unlike an annulment, the divorce isn’t wiped from the record. A divorce means the marriage still existed and you must go through the procedures of dividing up property and assets and determining alimony and child support payments. California is a no-fault divorce state, which means that neither spouse is blamed for the end of the marriage. This usually follows with assets being divided 50/50. Spouses may need to obtain legal representation to help ensure the assets are divided equitably rather than equally.
If you have questions about whether or not you are eligible for an annulment or a divorce, or are still curious what’s the difference between an annulment and a divorce, contact an experienced annulment attorney. Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri has over 100 collective years of experience in family law. Set up a free 30-minute consultation here to find out if you and your spouse are eligible for an annulment.
How is Property Divided in a Divorce?
/0 Comments/in Family Law /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich PolicastriGoing through a divorce is devastating, and the headache of trying to understand the intricacies of divorce law and how it applies to your specific circumstances can be a nightmare. If you find yourself wondering, “How is property divided in a divorce?” then you are not alone.
The first piece of advice for people facing a divorce settlement is to research your specific state law or reach out to an asset division lawyer who can help you understand how family law property division is settled in your state.
How is Property Divided in a Divorce in California
The state of California practices the principle of “community property” during divorce proceedings. This means that all property accumulated by the spouses during the marriage is considered community property, and thus must be divided relatively equally between the spouses.
While some spouses are able to negotiate the division of property without the help of an asset division lawyer, property divisions are not considered legal without the approval of a judge who needs to validate the legality of the final separation agreement.
Unfortunately, divorce can bring forth hostility even after previously happy marriages. Often couples find that they cannot agree on how to separate their assets, and require the help of lawyers who specialize in family law property division. Both sides will present their case, and a judge will determine a division of property that is fair and relatively equitable. Cases in which the spouses have children together, tend to further complicate the divorce as determining a child custody arrangement can be a contentious issue.
Joint Property Versus Separate Property
During divorce litigation, a judge will need to determine which assets are joint property (community property) and which property is considered separate. Separate property includes:
Shared property may become joint property if both spouses share payments on the property, as in a house, or if both spouses contribute to the worth of a property, as in a bank account. Nuances like these make an asset division lawyer highly recommended in high-asset divorce proceedings.
Determining the Value of Property
Once the shared and joint property are differentiated, the division property process begins. Joint property is not always physically split down the middle but is often awarded as whole parts. For example, while one spouse may be able to keep the more expensive car, the other may be granted the higher checking account or an equalization payment.
Debt Ownership
Community debt is a complex issue beyond the sample of this blog, however, it is highly advised to assign debts to one spouse instead of sharing the ownership of the debt. This is to prevent one person’s credit from being negatively affected if the other is unable to make payments. Divorce litigators often offset an imbalance of property division by granting the debt ownership to the spouse who was granted more personal property. While one spouse may receive the higher checking account that same spouse may also have to assume the sole responsibility of paying off the credit card debt.
Family Law Property Division in San Jose
If you are facing a contentious divorce, it is vital to invest in an asset division lawyer to help you protect your personal property and ensure that you are not being taken advantage of. LPEP is a reputable high-asset family law firm that specializes in representing high-net-worth individuals. Schedule a 30-minute consultation today so that you may understand how we can help you. To learn more about property division, read this.
What Is A Board Certified Family Law Specialist?
/0 Comments/in Family Law /by Riley PenningtonFamily law litigation is one of the most emotional, stressful, and challenging litigation to experience. When fighting for the rights of your family, it is important to hire a certified family law specialist. While other non-specialized lawyers could represent you, they do not have the special training, experience, and qualifications to give you the best representation.
What Does It Take to Become a Certified Family Law Specialist?
In order to become a certified family law specialist, lawyers must pass an additional examination when taking the bar. Additionally, they must provide references and demonstrate experience in the field after passing the exam. The specialization qualification is not permanent, meaning that lawyers need to complete additional training every three years.
Only specialists have the experience and training to understand the specific nuances of family law practice that is pivotal in family law litigation. While many lawyers may practice family law, not all of the lawyers who practice have the proper family law specialist certification. When selecting your lawyer, it is essential to pay attention to this differentiating factor as it could significantly affect the outcome of your case.
What Does a Certified Family Law Specialist Specialize In?
Family law lawyers who are certified family law specialists are reputable lawyers who focus on providing services for the broad category of family law litigation. Practice areas include cases involving:
As cases involving children and divorce can be highly emotional and contentious, it is all the more recommended to hire family law attorneys who have specialized certification. This certification guarantees that they have the experience and references to provide strong representation. Additionally, it implies that the lawyers will have the experience to treat sensitive matters with the care and respect that the family law litigation deserves.
How LPEP Can Help You
The Family Law Group at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri boasts a team of reputable Certified Family Law Specialists. The powerful combination represents some of the best talents in the Bay Area and is known for providing first-rate representation in complex family law litigation.
In addition to providing strong family law litigation, our team also encompasses experienced attorneys in estate law. The crossover between family and estate law is common with high-asset and complex family law cases, and it is important to have lawyers experienced in both fields. This makes our team more dynamic, more passionate, and more dedicated to protecting your rights.
We also have close partnerships with accountants, business evaluators, mental health professionals, and real estate appraisers. Our breadth of knowledge and access to outside resources gives us leverage over smaller firms. We use this leverage to put forth the strongest family law litigation in San Jose.
LPEP is a reputable law firm with a team of dedicated certified family law specialists and family law lawyers. We focus on providing litigation to complex family law litigation and are especially experienced with cases involving business owners, foreign nationals, and cases with high-assets.
At LPEP, we understand that complex cases are often highly more contentious and require the best representation. We are one of the largest family law firms in San Jose, which means that we have ample resources to provide you with the strongest litigation. Set up a free 30-minute consultation with a board certified family law specialist at our firm today.
What’s A Domestic Partnership?
/0 Comments/in Family Law /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich PolicastriThe law surrounding a domestic partnership varies from state to state. Understanding the terms surrounding it in your state requires some specific research on your part. Our partners at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri have put together a brief guide explaining what’s a domestic partnership, and the laws about it in California.
What’s A Domestic Partnership?
To understand a domestic partnership, you need to know about its history. The first registry was enacted in 1999 in California. While a partnership can be used by opposite-sex partners, it was originally meant as an option for same-sex couples who legally could not get married. Because of this, a partnership offers certain benefits that marriage offers and recognizes couples who share a domestic life together. What qualifies as a domestic partnership depends on the state in which you reside. California’s family code defines a domestic partnership as being between “two adults who have chosen to share one another’s lives in an intimate and committed relationship of mutual caring.” (1).
There are certain requirements that must be met in order to file for a partnership, also known as a civil union in some states. For a domestic partnership California requires:
At a certain period in time, a couple had to be over the age of 62, but a new law in 2019 granted the opportunity to all couples to have that opportunity now, including those under 18 if they acquire permission from guardians and the court.
How To File For A Partnership In California
While you can file on your own, it can be very beneficial to file with the help of a domestic partnership California attorney. They can walk you through the paperwork and help you fill out any information that is needed to successfully file. In California, you and your partner must fill out Form DP-1 to be approved for a partnership. The form must be signed by you and your partner, notarized and a fee must be paid to the Secretary of State in California.
Our experienced family law attorneys at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastry can work with you to help you file for a domestic partnership. Alternatively, if you are looking to dissolve a partnership, our attorneys can make the process as painless as possible. Get the help you need. We serve San Jose and the surrounding Bay area. We offer free virtual 30 minute consultations so that you can take the next steps towards filing or dissolving a partnership. Set up your consultation here. Learn more about domestic partnerships here.
All About Child Custody Modification
/0 Comments/in Uncategorized /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich PolicastriChild custody is an important part of any divorce when children are involved. Circumstances vary and depend greatly on many determining factors such as a history of abuse or addiction, means to provide, and whatever is in the best interest of the child(ren). Once a judge has made a ruling on the custody agreement between two parties, is it set in stone? Things can be changed through a child custody modification. What is it and when can it be used?
What Is A Child Custody Modification?
A modification is when, due to certain circumstances, a custody agreement is altered to accommodate the new needs and lifestyle changes of the parents and child(ren). If the two parties can agree on the changes there is a good chance of them being approved, but sometimes parents can’t come to an agreement. In this case, a modification to the custody and visitation order will have to go through the court. There are many reasons a modification may be necessary.
Reasons For Custody Modifications
Many things can constitute a change in a custody or visitation agreement. For it to be approved by the court, there has to be evidence that the current agreement is not working for both parties any longer in some way or another. What qualifies as a reason for a modification?
If one parent is displaying evidence of addiction to alcohol or other dangerous substances, this can be grounds for modification. These problems can make a parent unfit to care for or supervise a child. While not impossible, it is unlikely that the addicted party will agree to changes in the custody agreement. In this case, any parent who recognizes this behavior in their co-parent must file with a judge for a modification in the current agreement.
If there are signs that your child is in immediate danger and is not safe in their home, you can request a modification. You may want to speak with a child custody modification lawyer on how to expedite this process for the protection of your child.
If a parent is relocating due to new job opportunities or a new marriage, or some other reason, this can affect the visitation schedule. Both parents should work together to come up with a practical solution where both parties get to spend time with their child(ren). The courts will take into consideration how this will affect the child’s everyday life such as school, activities, relationships, and upbringing.
If your ex is violating the terms of your current agreement such as not adhering to the visitation schedule or not communicating openly about the care of your child, or keeping your child from you despite the rights granted to you in the agreement, you are eligible for a child custody modification. You can contact a lawyer to learn how to modify custody if you are unsure of your next steps.
How To Change A Custody Order
Changing a custody order is a simple process as long as the courts approve. If you and the other parent are in agreement about what modifications you want to take place, you can jointly submit the proposed agreement to the court for approval. If you and the other parent are not in agreement, one parent will need to file for a proposed modification with the court. It must be approved to be legally binding, otherwise, no parent is required to follow it. It is recommended to get an experienced child custody attorney to help with this process, especially if your ex is in disagreement with your proposed change.
Our attorneys at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri can explain how to modify custody and what your options are. At the end of the day, the courts care most about what is in the best interest of the child(ren). If you live in the Bay Area, set up a free virtual 30-minute consultation here. Learn more about child custody modifications here.
How Far Can A Parent Move With Joint Custody
/0 Comments/in Family Law /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich PolicastriWhen you share joint custody with your ex, the idea of a big life change such as moving can be scary. The results can be uncertain and what will happen is at the discretion of a judge. If you are the parent of a child and want to move away or if your ex wants to relocate and move the child with them, what’s next? How far you can move with your child is determined by many factors.
Joint Custody & Parental Relocation
If you are planning to relocate with your child, you should know about the process you’ll need to go through to legally relocate. There are steps that you must go through to get approved for relocating your child in the case of joint custody. The main takeaway is that the judge must find the move in the best interest of your child(ren).
When a joint custody order is already in place, parental relocation is considered a modification by the court. This means that it is a requested change to the existing order. In California, a move-away modification is necessary if a parent plans to move 50+ miles away from their local residence, although, in large, unclear areas, this can be less.
The current parental schedule will be considered when approving or disapproving the modification. The modification can be filed by the parent looking for permission to relocate, or by the remaining parent who wishes to update the custody agreement so that they don’t lose time with their child(ren). When parents share joint custody, the court has a lot more to consider in determining if the move-away can happen. The courts must decide that the move is not harmful to the child in any way in order to approve it.
Many things matter when it comes to whether your child will be allowed to relocate with you, and how far you can relocate:
You can work with a lawyer to file for a modification to your joint custody agreement. The distance you can move can only be determined by a judge. They can help you gather documents and evidence to support that the move is in the best interest of the child. They can also work with your ex to try and come to an agreement to the custody order that you both are satisfied with, which you can then take to court for approval.
If you live in San Jose, Santa Clara, or the surrounding communities, contact Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri for a free consultation. Our experienced attorneys offer complimentary 30-minute virtual consultations to clients. Set yours up here.
What Is A Restraining Order & How To Get One
/0 Comments/in Family Law, Personal /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich PolicastriNobody should have to live in constant fear of another person. Yet physical or emotional abuse is not uncommon, and many people are often left unsure of how to protect themselves. Fortunately, there are legal processes that can protect you from having to deal with harassment, abuse, or being stalked. If you are fearful for your or your loved ones’ safety, then it is essential that you know how to get a restraining order, which is the first legal step in protecting your safety.
A restraining order(RO) is a legal order that a protected person can file against the restrained person in order to prevent them from taking harmful actions towards the protected person. The protected person may also name other people such as their children or relatives to be protected as well.
Before filing a restraining order, it is important to determine what you want the restrained person to be prohibited from doing. There are three types of restrictions that may be placed on a restrained person. A person may file for all three types of restrictions, depending on the severity of the abusive relationship.
How to Get a Restraining Order(RO)
Before filing a restraining order in California, you need to determine which type of RO you need. The type of restraining order depends on the nature of the relationship with the restrained person. You must select one of the four of the following types of restraining orders when filing.
In order to get a restraining order in California, you or your restraining order attorney must complete and file the legal court documents to begin the RO process. When you file the paperwork you should bring legal identification and any paperwork related to the restraining order such as past filings or paperwork associated with an emergency protective order.
Once the documents are complete, you must file the paperwork with the courthouse. In Santa Clara County, Domestic violence restraining orders are free, as well as civil harassment restraining orders if an act of violence has occurred. However, if no acts of violence have occurred, then there will be a fee for filing the civil harassment restraining order. If your income is low, you may want to bring pay stubs so that you may qualify for a fee waiver.
Once the paperwork is filed, a temporary restraining order may be granted until the date of the court hearing. During the court hearing, the judge will review the evidence and determine if further protection is necessary. The judge may grant protection for up to five years, at which point the protected person may file for a new restraining order.
There are incidences, however, in which the protected person is in danger and needs immediate protection. If you face an immediate threat to your safety, you may call the police to help remove the restrained person from your vicinity. The police may then file an emergency protective order which lasts for five to seven days, allowing you or your lawyer the time to file a temporary restraining order at the courthouse.
If you live in San Jose or the surrounding Bay Area and need help acquiring a domestic violence restraining order, contact one of our experienced attorneys today. We offer free 30 minute consultations. Set yours up here.
How To Help A Loved One Experiencing Domestic Violence
/0 Comments/in Family Law, Personal /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich PolicastriMillions of Americans are the victims of domestic abuse yearly. It’s likely that you have either faced it yourself or have a loved one who has. But what about your loved ones who are currently experiencing violence? How do you help them? If you’re noticing signs of domestic violence, or if your loved one has confided in you, there are steps you can take to help. Learn what you can do from an experienced domestic violence lawyer.
Signs of Domestic Violence
If you suspect that your friend or family member is experiencing domestic violence, there are some signs you can look for. Some are more obvious than others. You might notice…
This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to warning signs of domestic abuse. If your loved one hasn’t confided in you that they are being abused, there are certain ways to handle the situation, and it must be done delicately.
Supporting Your Loved One
Your first instinct may be to get the help of the police or a domestic violence lawyer. While this is necessary in the eventual resolution of the situation, this isn’t always the right, first step. Often, many victims of domestic violence are not ready to confront the fact that they are victims. They may have a lot of shame around the situation, and abusers often make their victims feel that they are at fault for their own abuse.
Don’t begin by telling them they are being abused and how they should handle it, although this may be your first instinct. Instead, start by expressing concern in a safe, private place away from the abuser. Listen to and support your loved one, and believe what they have to say. Do not be judgemental in any way. You need to validate them and remind them that they do not deserve to be hurt and that they are not to blame. That is so important, as they may feel it is their fault. Work to build up their self-esteem by reminding them of their worth and all of their positive qualities. For them to take the first steps towards leaving the situation, they need to believe they deserve to leave. Help them rebuild a support system. Abusers work to actively isolate their victims and drive their loved ones away so as to maintain control over their victim. By encouraging and helping your loved one rebuild those connections, you are building a strong foundation to support them when they leave. Ultimately, you need to put the power in your loved one’s hands. You need to remind them that they are strong and that they call the shots. Reminding them of their power can lead to the eventual will power they need to stand up for themselves and leave an abusive situation.
Getting Help
When your friend or family member has decided that they are ready to take the next step in leaving a bad situation, you should have the resources to help them. You want to know what to do ahead of time so that you can get them out of the situation as quickly as possible and as safely as possible. You will want the number of your local domestic violence helpline. You will also need to reach out to them ahead of time to learn about resources they have to offer.
You may also want to have the contact number of a domestic violence lawyer who can help in setting up a DVRO (domestic violence restraining order). They can also assist in pressing charges. You want an attorney who has extensive experience in the field of domestic violence, and who can handle the case delicately and discreetly. If your loved one is married to their abuser, a domestic violence lawyer can also aid in divorce litigation – especially if children are involved. In these matters, where there is a lot of hostility, you need an aggressive attorney who can work tirelessly to get justice for your loved one and their children, and to safely extricate them from a violent situation.
Courts tend to favor the interests of the abused spouse, and typically take accusations of abuse very seriously, especially if children are involved. If you have questions about what qualifies as domestic abuse in a court of law, and what your next steps should be in helping your friend, there are a couple resources you can use…
Domestic Abuse Intervention Services
National Domestic Violence Hotline
https://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/
LPEP Law – Domestic Violence Lawyer
https://www.lpeplaw.com/family-law/domestic-violence/
If you are based in or around San Jose, you can set up a free 30-minute consultation with one of our domestic violence attorneys here. We believe victims and actively work to create a safer, healthier life for victims and their children.