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Posts

Same Sex Divorce in California

August 11, 2021/in Family Law /by David Patton

For same-sex couples, the right to marry comes with the right to divorce. Though no one enters a marriage intending to divorce, it is a necessary process for married couples who understand that marriage is no longer the best fit for them.

While many aspects of divorce proceedings in California are the same for same-sex couples and heterosexual couples, there are certain aspects of the law that are particularly nuanced with respect to same-sex couples. Some of the differences can be advantageous for same-sex divorce, while others reflect the biases against same sex couples that are still ingrained in divorce law.

Child Custody Arrangements

The most contentious issue of divorce cases involving children tends to involve child custody arrangements. In the state of California, both parents are able to legally obtain parental rights of their children.  In divorce proceedings involving same-sex couples who both have parental rights, both spouses are typically considered with custody arrangements. However, in marriages in which only one parent has parental rights, a judge may consider the biological parent as having more rights in the custody arrangement.  Similar to heterosexual divorce litigation, factors involving parental roles and relationships with the child are considered as well.

Alimony Payments 

When it comes to alimony, judges have the authority to treat same-sex couples differently than heterosexual couples.  This differentiation isn’t due to biases within the law, but rather is due to the fact that many same-sex couples were been living together for years prior to being able to become legally married. In the case of one spouse being financially dependent on the other for a significant period prior to the marriage, the judge may factor that time into the alimony arrangements.

Dividing Retirement Accounts

While the division of retirement accounts is rather straightforward with heterosexual couples, it is often a convoluted process with same-sex litigation.

Domestic Partnership

Another layer that further complicates same sex divorce in California is if the couple obtained a domestic partnership prior to their marriage. If so, then the couple will need to terminate the domestic partnership in addition to ending the marriage. While this process is streamlined for heterosexual couples, it serves as another hurdle to overcome with same sex divorce. 

Same Sex Divorce in California

In order to get divorced in California, you must meet California’s residency requirements. Either you or your spouse must have lived in:

  • The state of California for the last 6 months, 
  • The same county where you plan to file for divorce for at least the last 3 months. 

If you and your spouse have been in California for at least six months but have lived in different counties, you can file in either county. If you are unable to satisfy the residency requirement, you have the option to file for a legal separation. After the required time has passed and you qualify for a divorce, your attorney can file an “amended petition” to request a divorce decree instead.

How to Facilitate a Smoother Same Sex Divorce

Since same sex divorce is a new area of practice, there are still many gray areas of the law that are open to interpretation. Due to the ambiguous nature of same sex divorce law, it is recommended to hire a same-sex divorce lawyer who is experienced with divorces between spouses of the same sex. Our team of qualified lawyers at LPEP represents one of the largest family law firms in San Jose, California. Contact our offices here to schedule a free 30-minute consultation in which you will learn your recommended course of action to protect your rights in your divorce litigation. You can also learn more about same-sex divorce here.

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/same-sex-divorce-1.jpeg 817 1368 David Patton https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png David Patton2021-08-11 20:18:212021-12-22 19:45:21Same Sex Divorce in California

How to Choose a High Net Worth Divorce Attorney in San Jose, CA

September 13, 2019/1 Comment/in Family Law /by Gina Policastri

Going through a divorce or separation is an extremely complicated and emotional time. Thankfully, you do not have to go through the process alone. A high net worth divorce attorney will have your best interests at heart and will help you through this difficult time. Separation is never easy, but it does not have to be hard with the guidance of an experienced lawyer, especially in San Jose.

San Jose sits in the heart of Silicon Valley, the epicenter of innovation and technology. It would be no surprise that you or your former spouse have come to San Jose to work and have worked hard for what you own and shared. You probably have acquired a lot of assets during your marriage such as property or finances. When it comes down to splitting up what you own during a divorce, you might not know where to start or what you are entitled to. Interestingly enough, many people in this town do not know just how much they have or the value of what their assets actually are. This is where an experienced lawyer would come in to help.

High net worth divorce attorney in a meeting with two parties

What Is A High Net Worth Divorce?

In this San Jose, it would not be a surprise if your case is considered a high net worth divorce. A “high net worth divorce” has traditionally been defined as a divorce involving more than one million dollars in net liquid assets. These types of divorces come with their own set of additional challenges and complications that only a knowledgeable lawyer can help you navigate. One of the complicates may be defining your assets and potential tax consequences that come with it. Additionally, things like pre-nuptial agreements, real estate, businesses, stock options, and retirement assets will be at issue in the divorce proceedings. These items may make the process go from a simple dissolution to a complicated and contested mess. Let our divorce attorneys help you through this complex process.

If your divorce is considered “high net worth”, you should seek the advice of our high net worth divorce attorneys at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri. Our divorce attorneys know the intricacies of this unique type of separation and can fight for your needs accordingly. Choosing the wrong divorce attorney could be detrimental to your case. The right lawyer will listen to your concerns, have a strong courtroom presence, and devote the time and attention necessary to secure a beneficial outcome for you. Even though emotions are running high, a good high net worth divorce attorney will cut through emotional distractions to avoid escalating conflict and avoid a lengthy and costly legal battle. Our knowledgeable lawyers will guide you on how to protect your assets and are dedicated to achieving an outcome that is beneficial to you.

High net divorce attorneys Lonich, Patton, Ehrlich, Policastri

If you or a loved one are going through a divorce and are in need of a high net worth divorce attorney in San Jose, please reach out to the experienced divorce attorneys at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri.

Please remember that each individual situation is unique, and results discussed in this post are not a guarantee of future results. While this post may detail general legal issues, it is not legal advice. Use of this site does not create an attorney-client relationship.

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/pexels-photo-265730.jpeg 1280 1920 Gina Policastri https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png Gina Policastri2019-09-13 16:57:582021-12-22 19:56:41How to Choose a High Net Worth Divorce Attorney in San Jose, CA

What Personal Information Do I Need To Prepare When Considering A Divorce

August 28, 2019/in Family Law /by Riley Pennington

Separation and divorce are very difficult issues to navigate. If you are preparing for a divorce, there are a multitude of challenges that you must prepare for. However, having a knowledgeable San Jose divorce attorney – like the attorneys at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri – will significantly lessen your burden. When preparing to meet with a San Jose divorce attorney for the first time, it is important to gather and have available certain personal information.

A San Jose divorce attorney can help you gather the needed information for a divorce.

What Information Will You Need?

It is important have some basic information for both yourself and your spouse ready. Your full names, dates of birth, and social security numbers are a good start. Additionally, have both your and your spouses contact information, address, phone number, and e-mail address. Another important piece of information to have is a document showing proof that you are a California resident. This can be a mortgage bill or home utility bill for instance.

Other valuable information to gather in preparation of your divorce or separation include employment information for both yourself and your spouse. You should obtain the employer’ name, address, and phone number, for both you and your spouse. Gather information about the length of you and your spouse’s employment. This should include monthly or annual salary, and at least the last three income tax returns you filed.

What If Children Are Involved?

Regarding any children you and your spouse may have, there are a few things you’ll need. First it is important to have available a list of all children from the marriage’s names including the children’s dates of birth, social security numbers, and health insurance coverage. Additionally, it would be good to note what the current custody arrangement is between you and your spouse. If you anticipate custody being an issue during your divorce, vocalize this. Include if there are any children from a previous marriage for either you or your spouse. List their names, dates of birth, social security numbers, and whether there is child support being received or paid for any of the children.

A parent helps a baby walk. A San Jose Divorce Attorney can help you with custody during a divorce.

Finally, if there is some additional information that will be of great assistance to the divorce attorney you meet, provide it to the attorney either before or during your first meeting. The date and place your wedding took place should be provided. Further, a list of any the marital problems involving alcohol or drug abuse, or domestic abuse, that led to divorce. Lastly, your attorney will need the name of your spouse’s attorney if your spouse is represented. They will need to know where to serve your spouse with divorce papers.

If you are separated and planning a divorce or simply considering your options, please contact one of the experienced San Jose Divorce attorneys at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri. We offer free consultations for new Family Law clients.

Please remember that each individual situation is unique, and results discussed in this post are not a guarantee of future results.  While this post may detail general legal issues, it is not legal advice.  Use of this site does not create an attorney-client relationship.

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/2-Rings-Divorce-Papers.jpeg 1367 2048 Riley Pennington https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png Riley Pennington2019-08-28 16:19:192021-12-22 20:03:02What Personal Information Do I Need To Prepare When Considering A Divorce

California Divorce: What is a Moore Marsden Analysis?

March 14, 2019/1 Comment/in Family Law /by Michael Lonich

Who or What are Moore and Marsden?

Moore and Marsden are two cases decided by the California Supreme Court and the California Appellate Court in 1980 and 1982 respectively. These cases dealt with the issue of how to determine the community property interest in a house.

Generally, a house purchased before marriage will be treated as the purchaser’s separate property. However, during marriage if the mortgage is paid with community funds a portion of the value of the house may become community property. Because California is a community property state, this means all community property is divided equally in a divorce.

When do I Use a Moore Marsden analysis?

The decisions of the Moore and Marsden cases are the basis for what is called the Moore Marsden analysis. The Moore Marsden analysis applies a formula to determine what portion of a house is community property due to mortgage payments made during marriage with community funds.

To apply the Moore Marsden analysis, you need to have two key factors. First, any mortgage payments made must be made with community funds. Second, these payments must include payment of the loan principal and not only interest.

How do I Apply a Moore Marsden Calculation?

If you meet the above two factors, you must compare the market value of your home at the time of your marriage and the market value at them time of your divorce proceedings to calculate the amount the house has increased in value during the marriage.

You then compare the amount principal paid during the marriage to the total purchase price of the house to calculate what percentage of the purchase price was paid during the marriage.

Next you take the percentage of the purchase price that was paid by the community and compare that to the amount your house has increased in value during marriage and add to it the amount of the principal paid by the community to calculate the total amount of the house that the community is entitled to.

Finally, in a divorce this amount is divided between the spouses because it is community property.

For example, if your house was worth $100,000 at the time of marriage and $200.000 at the time of divorce, then the house has increased in value by $100,000.

If you purchased the house for $50.000 and during your marriage paid off $10,000 of principal with community funds, then 20% was paid by the community.

Using the above examples, you take the percentage paid by the community, 20%, of the amount your house increased in value, $100,000, and add the amount of principal paid during the marriage, $10,000, which equals $30,000. This means that the community would be entitled to $30,000 of the $200,000 house.

This would mean that in the above example, each spouse would be entitled to $15,000 as community property is divided equally. The remainder of the house value and the balance due on the loan is kept by the spouse that purchased the house with separate funds before the marriage.

Is There Anything Else I Should be Aware of?

In a typical divorce, there are many additional factors that may be involved in the calculation. Refinancing and home improvements made with community funds both influence the calculation. Further, it may simply be difficult to agree on the required values of the home with your spouse.

Because of the complex nature of the Moore Marsden analysis, it is important to discuss your circumstances with a knowledgeable expert. If you own a home and are considering divorce, please contact one of the experienced attorneys at Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri.

Please remember that each individual situation is unique, and results discussed in this post are not a guarantee of future results.  While this post may detail general legal issues, it is not legal advice. Use of this site does not create an attorney-client relationship.

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png 0 0 Michael Lonich https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png Michael Lonich2019-03-14 08:00:192021-12-22 20:04:46California Divorce: What is a Moore Marsden Analysis?

What Parents with a Disability Need to be Aware of in a Divorce

June 1, 2017/in Family Law /by Michael Lonich

Parenting while going through a divorce is hard, but also having a disability adds a new level of complexity that makes it is easy to feel overwhelmed and deflated. This is why it is so important to have a competent lawyer who will advocate for your parentage rights effectively and with care.

The thought of having parentage rights taken away will make any parent’s heart drop. But the chances of a disabled parent facing this nightmare is almost a guarantee. According to the National Council on Disabilities the removal rates of children from disabled parents are dispiriting. For children with psychiatric disabled parents the removal rates were between 70% and 80%; parents with intellectual disabilities were 80%; and parents with physical or sensory disabilities experienced high removal rates and loss of parental rights, as well.

If you are a disabled parent facing divorce or a child custody battle, it is important to find a lawyer who is sympathetic to your situation, who understands your condition, and will be effective in their advocacy for you. This is crucial because there are many unfortunate challenges a disabled parent can face in court.

Disabled parents may experience bias or speculation regarding best interest determinants. When dealing with a child, the court’s main objective is to produce a result that is in the child’s best interest; and a parent’s disability will be considered.

There is also a “no harm” requirement when determining a child’s best interest scenario, where the court factors the mental and physical health of all individuals involved to determine if there is a potential chance for harm to occur to the child. With this requirement, there is no obligation to show that the parent’s disability is actually causing, or will cause, any harm to the child or their environment. This can clearly disfavor any parent dealing with a disability.

If you are a parent who has a disability and is facing a divorce or custody battle, securing knowledgeable and effective counsel is imperative. There are a few key characteristics you should look for your future lawyer.

Of course, a knowledgeable lawyer in family law and child custody is a must, but you also want one who will focus on your parenting abilities and strengths. Your attorney needs to understand the specifics of your diagnosis in order to better advise and understand you. By being knowledgeable on your disability’s characteristics your lawyer will be more equipped to advocate on your parenting strengths and abilities. Finally, you want to find a lawyer who apprehends the benefits and pitfalls of various parental evaluations. Overall, your lawyer should give you assurance that your parental rights are protected and that you are given a fair opportunity to raise your child.

If you are considering a divorce or legal separation and would like more information about child custody and parental disability, please contact the experienced family law attorneys at Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri.

Lastly, please remember that each individual situation is unique, and results discussed in this post are not a guarantee of future results.  While this post may detail general legal issues, it is not legal advice.  Use of this site does not create an attorney-client relationship.

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png 0 0 Michael Lonich https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png Michael Lonich2017-06-01 10:36:072021-12-22 20:10:08What Parents with a Disability Need to be Aware of in a Divorce

“Always has the best advice for you” -AVVO reviewer

October 24, 2016/in Firm News /by Riley Pennington

Gina Policastri, partner at Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri, has gained a reputation for being a compassionate but strong advocate for her clients. She has worked with clients involved in long and difficult divorces.  One AVVO reviewer recently noted that after a lengthy divorce of 6 years that seemed to be going nowhere, Gina was able to finalize his divorce in only 8 months! As the reviewer stated, “She is extremely organized, a hard worker and always has the best advice for you and knows what is needed to do to move your case forward!”

Gina Policastri is a Certified Family Law Specialist.  She handles all areas of family law including high conflict custody cases, complex business valuation and asset division issues and complicated child and spousal support matters.

For more information or to schedule your free ½ hour consultation, please contact Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri. Please remember that each individual situation is unique, and results discussed in this post are not a guarantee of future results.  Use of this site does not create an attorney-client relationship.

 

https://www.avvo.com/attorneys/95126-ca-gina-policastri-233500/reviews.html

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png 0 0 Riley Pennington https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png Riley Pennington2016-10-24 10:34:512021-12-22 20:12:12"Always has the best advice for you" -AVVO reviewer

Mediation: Taking control of your divorce

October 10, 2016/in Family Law /by David Patton

The underuse of the mediation process seems to be largely attributable to the fact that many people are unaware of what a mediation session is and how beneficial it can actually be. In family disputes, mediation can be extremely rewarding, saving parties time, money and sanity.

The rules of mediation: you create them

In mediation, parties are not bound by many of the rules that govern judges’ decision making. As a result, parties can reach solutions that might not otherwise be available from a court. For example, if there is a dispute over child support or child custody, rather than having a judge decide the amount of support or amount of visitation based on guidelines and factors required by statute,  parties are free to negotiate an amount or time deemed reasonable to both.

The outcomes: you decide them

In mediation, you are free to discuss with your spouse what is important to both of you and try to reach a mutually acceptable agreement.  It differs from litigation in that parties avoid the uncertainty, time and stress associated with going to trial. Parties are  able to hear and understand the other’s point of view and with the guidance of a mediator, this enables parties to reach a middle ground . Because the mediator does not have the authority to make decisions, it is ultimately the parties making their OWN decisions over their OWN lives.

However, a good mediator should have some family law experience and be able to offer practical guidance to the parties. A mediator with family law experience can offer parties insight as to what might and might not be granted in court, ensuring that no request is unreasonable or disadvantageous to the other spouse. This can make the mediation session much more productive.

Progress: in the mediation room and beyond

Lastly, even if you don’t settle all your divorce issues, chances are you did resolve some. Even having resolved one issue is progress.  Further, the tenants of mediation promote cooperation and communication. Thus because parties are provided the opportunity to resolve their own case, mediation tends to reduce hostility and preserve ongoing relationships.

While divorce mediation works in many situations, it is not always appropriate. Litigation is often the best option in situations where there is domestic violence, one party refuses to cooperate in making required disclosures, or communication between the parties is impossible. If you have any questions about divorce mediation and would like to speak to an attorney, please contact Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri for further information.  Keep in mind that each individual situation is unique and results discussed in this post are not a guarantee of future results.  While this post may include legal issues, it is not legal advice.  Use of this site does not create an attorney-client relationship.

 

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png 0 0 David Patton https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png David Patton2016-10-10 11:54:102021-12-22 20:12:39Mediation: Taking control of your divorce

Finding Your Divorce Attorney: 3 Ways to Ensure You Hire the Right One

June 10, 2016/in Family Law /by Gretchen Boger

Hiring the right attorney has the potential to save you time, money, and peace of mind; however, this is no easy task – nor should it be. Getting a divorce is often one of the most difficult, exhausting, and emotionally draining times in a person’s life.  It is of utmost importance to hire the attorney that is willing and able to be your guide and advocate through the arcane domain of divorce. Below are three ways to ensure that you are choosing the right attorney.

1. A Referral

With approximately 40% – 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, it is likely that you know someone who has gone through a divorce.  While it is not always easy to admit that your union has failed, seeking advice from those who have had to go through the process can play an integral role in deciding who will represent you.

Simply asking them if they would recommend their attorney is indicative of an attorney’s capabilities.  However, an attorney who was perfect for someone else may not be perfect for you, and vice versa.  Therefore, confide in those who have gone through this onerous process, but be aware that each divorce is unique and each attorney-client relationship is unique, as well.

2. An Internet Search

Today a simple Google search, for example, “Bay Area Divorce Lawyers,” will return dozens of results.  The results at the top of the list will most likely be the law firms that specialize in divorce in the Bay Area.  Take your time when researching each law firm.

A law firm’s website should indicate its areas of specialization, the attorneys that work there, and the results that the firm gets.  More often than not, the website will give examples of the kinds of cases the firm has tried.  These examples are important to you. You should be asking yourself, if these examples are similar to your current situation.  If so, the firm is one that you should definitely consider.  A firm’s website can provide a lot insight about the firm; however, it should not, necessarily, be the determinative factor in your decision making process.

3. A Consultation

If a referral source or your research has resulted in finding an attorney that you like, you should schedule a consultation.  A consultation is a time for you and the attorney to decide if working together is the right decision. There are number of things that you should consider when meeting with your potential attorney for the first time.

First, if the attorney is charging you an initial consultation fee, do not let it discourage you from scheduling the consultation.  Usually, in other areas of law, when a prospective client meets with an attorney for the first time there is a free 30 minute consultation.  However, divorce attorneys may charge an initial consultation fee.  The reasons for the fee are to determine if clients can afford attorney’s fees and to deter clients that are “lawyer shopping.”  Lawyer shopping occurs when a prospective client meets with a number of different divorce attorneys with the intention of creating a conflict of interest.  As a result, any attorney who the client met with is precluded from representing that client’s spouse.  One way to deter invidious behavior, such as lawyer shopping, is to charge for the meeting.

Second, the attorney-client relationship is something that should be founded upon honesty, trust, and accountability. The consultation is the appropriate time to meet and decide if working together would be in the best interests of both parties.  During the consultation there is a lot of information that each party should receive before making a decision.

As the client, you should make note of the attorney’s demeanor and professionalism. Is the attorney professional, did he or she dress well, was the meeting uninterrupted, did you receive the attorney’s undivided attention, and were you treated with respect? An attorney who dresses well, is professional, and treats you with respect usually correlates to being a fine lawyer.

Third, divorce has the potential to last for years. It is important that you choose an attorney you can be around throughout the divorce. Your attorney is your advocate, and the last thing that you need is to have tension between one another.  Therefore, choose someone that you can foresee yourself getting along with.  This doesn’t mean your attorney needs to be your best friend, but it does need to be someone that you can work with.

Fourth, hiring an attorney who has dealt with cases similar to yours will most likely save you time and money.  While divorce may seem like an ossified area of the law, results are, often times, dictated by specific factual findings and great lawyering.  Having an attorney who is familiar with certain situations will increase your chances of reaching a settlement in your best interest.  For example, an attorney who has dealt with unique assets and situations (horses, real property out-of-state, blended families, etc.) is more likely to reach a better result and not bill as much for researching these unique circumstances.

Finally, if you decide that the attorney is right for you, you should be ready to get the process started right away.  The items that you should bring to the first consultation are: 1) any pleadings, motions, proposed settlement agreements, or any other documentation dealing with the case, 2) your most recent tax returns, 3) a preliminary schedule of assets and liabilities, and 4) your monthly income and expenses.  Any other documents or paperwork that you think are relevant should be brought to the consultation, too.

On the other hand, during the consultation, the attorney will be considering whether your case should be taken.  Each attorney has their own checklist for determining whether to take on a new client.  Generally, an attorney considers if the case is feasible, if he or she is able to work with the client, and if there are any conflicts, among other factors.

Asking for a referral, conducting your own research, and meeting with attorneys are three proactive steps that will ensure that whomever you hire is the right attorney for you.  Remember, finding the right attorney is a decision that only you should be making.

If you need any help in finding the right attorney, the Certified Family Law Specialists at Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri have decades of experience handling complex family law matters. Please contact the Certified Family Law Specialists at Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri for further information.  Please remember that each individual situation is unique and results discussed in this post are not a guarantee of future results.  While this post may include legal issues, it is not legal advice.  Use of this site does not create an attorney-client relationship.

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png 0 0 Gretchen Boger https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png Gretchen Boger2016-06-10 15:10:362021-12-22 20:16:50Finding Your Divorce Attorney: 3 Ways to Ensure You Hire the Right One

7 Tips to Keep Your Sanity in Custody Litigation

May 2, 2016/in Family Law /by Virginia Lively

In her memoir “Yes Please,” comedian Amy Poehler likened divorce to “spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air.” Undeniably, the end of a relationship is devastating for all involved, especially for the children of the relationship. Sometimes, parents separate with the best of intentions, promising to keep the peace for the sake of the children–with varying degrees of success. An unfortunate reality is that divorce and custody litigation is taxing on children of any age, and exposure to conflict can have lasting and serious repercussions. In fact, studies show that children exposed to a contentious divorce are more likely to struggle academically, socially, and emotionally.*

This post contains tips to decrease conflict and keep you (and your family) sane during custody litigation.

1.  Be Flexible.

Life after separation is uncomfortable for both parents and children. On top of arranging separate housing and sorting such issues as payment of household bills and the sale of the family home, you and your ex must negotiate a temporary visitation schedule. This is no small order! In approaching this challenge, flexibility is key. Remember, initial temporary custody arrangements are just that—temporary—and will be fine-tuned over time. Consider taking advantage of the free custody mediation services available in some counties through Family Court Services, where a neutral mediator will help you and your ex formulate a visitation schedule.

2.  Communication is Key.

Hostility strains communication. Children adjusting to divorce will benefit from their parents maintaining healthy lines of communication. While face-to-face communication with your ex may be difficult, luckily there are many alternatives. Consider designating a “family notebook” to travels in your child’s backpack or overnight bag. You and your ex can write (peaceful) notes to one another, detailing the status of homework and projects, sleep and nap schedules, snacks and meals eaten by the kids during visits, and health-related concerns. Or, consider using Our Family Wizard which is a web and app-based custody tool that helps parents with scheduling and communicating (and is frequently ordered by family court judges).

3.  Choose your Words Carefully.

Think of your child as a sponge. He or she will soak up everything you say and do, especially during this unstable time. For this reason, no matter how tempting it may be, do not “vent” or criticize the other parent in the presence of your children, or discuss the ongoing litigation. To help your children understand the changes your family is undergoing, and offer a safe space for your children to discuss these changes, consider family or individual counseling.

4.  Practice the Golden Rule…Even if Your Ex Doesn’t.

Treat your ex as you wish to be treated, even if he or she does not return the favor. Retaliating against your ex by withholding contact with the children will breed further tension and conflict. To that end, difficult though it may be, try to take the high road. Show respect and flexibility to your ex, even if he or she is seemingly unwilling to offer the same courtesy. Ultimately, the court will see you as the more reasonable parent.

5.  Be Cautious When Introducing New Partners.

Err on the side of caution when introducing a new boyfriend or girlfriend to your children. It can be difficult for children to process the end of their parents’ marriage, and the introduction of a new partner too soon may cause confusion and anxiety. It may also heighten conflict with your children (or resentment from your ex). Even if your children adore your new partner, if the new relationship is short lived, then your children may face even more difficult change. Consider waiting until the initial uncertainty of the custody litigation—and your new relationship—has passed before introducing a new partner.

6.  Go Back to School.

It’s never too late to learn. There are an abundance of parenting classes offered on a variety of topics (from parenting an infant to relating with a teenager). The courts often order one or both parties to participate in a parenting class. Consider voluntarily enrolling in a class at the beginning of the case. Not only will it impress the judge, by honing your own parenting skills, you will also develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate conflict.

7.  Be Patient and Change Will Come.

Change will not happen overnight. Separating from the parent of your child will undoubtedly cause a period of unhappiness and uncertainty. However unpleasant, this time shall pass. Be patient, and change for the better will come.

If you need help navigating your custody litigation, the Certified Family Law Specialists at Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri have decades of experience handling complex family law matters. Please contact the Certified Family Law Specialists at Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri for further information.  Please remember that each individual situation is unique and results discussed in this post are not a guarantee of future results.  While this post may include legal issues, it is not legal advice.  Use of this site does not create an attorney-client relationship.

*Source: Children of divorce in the 1990s: An update of the Amato and Keith (1991) meta-analysis. Amato, Paul R. Journal of Family Psychology, Vol 15(3), Sep 2001, 355-370.

 

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png 0 0 Virginia Lively https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png Virginia Lively2016-05-02 15:21:532021-12-22 20:17:357 Tips to Keep Your Sanity in Custody Litigation

“Truly wanted to see a fair and just outcome”- AVVO reviewer

March 9, 2016/in Firm News, In the Community /by Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri

David Patton is a family law specialist and partner at Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri. David is an experienced trial attorney with over 22 years of experience. He co-founded the firm’s family law practice and has become one of Silicon Valley’s top family lawyers.

David has represented clients in difficult and complex cases, all while treating his clients with kindness and compassion. He recognizes that these times are some of the most overwhelming and difficult for families, and that is why he works hard and diligently to obtain favorable results.

As one AVVO client reviewer stated: “David (and his partner Mike Lonich) were genuinely interested and invested in my case. They were not solely focused on billable hours, but truly wanted to see a fair and just outcome. That sort of personal commitment went a long way toward making the whole experience, if not enjoyable, at least less miserable. I just wish I had David as my attorney when my divorce first started. I would highly recommend David Patton and his firm to anyone needing competent representation in matters of family law. “

If you have any questions about divorce or any other issue, the Certified Family Law Specialists at Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri have decades of experience handling complex family law matters. Please contact the Certified Family Law Specialists at Lonich Patton Erlich Policastri for further information.  Please remember that each individual situation is unique and results discussed in this post are not a guarantee of future results.  While this post may include legal issues, it is not legal advice.  Use of this site does not create an attorney-client relationship.

http://www.avvo.com/attorneys/95126-ca-david-patton-319088.html

https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png 0 0 Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri https://www.lpeplaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LPEP_PC.png Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri2016-03-09 16:41:572021-12-22 20:17:53"Truly wanted to see a fair and just outcome"- AVVO reviewer
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LONICH PATTON EHRLICH POLICASTRI

Phone: (408) 553-0801
Fax: (408) 553-0807
Email: contact@lpeplaw.com

1871 The Alameda, Suite 400
San Jose, CA 95126

Located in San Jose, Lonich Patton Ehrlich Policastri handles matters for clients in northern California, specifically San Jose and Silicon Valley. Our services are available to anyone within the following counties: Santa Clara, San Mateo, Contra Costa, Santa Cruz, Monterey, San Benito, and San Francisco. For a full listing of areas where we practice, please click here.

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